Dearest
by night.scare
Summary: This world was not an easy one to live in. There was pain and suffering no matter where you went. The stench of death was always heavy in the air. She wasn't hoping to be saved from this hell. She wasn't banking on a sudden cure to end all of the chaos. She just kept moving. Because that's all you can do. [Rick/OC]
1. Jenner

**Hey guys! So, I've decided to post this story after a few of you said you wanted to read it :) This story is a bit different from my other story **_Protector_**. This is going to be a bit more slow paced and I've decided to try out a new writing style**_**. **_**Since this is the first chapter as of now it's sort of subject to change if I post any more chapters.**

**If I get good feedback, I'll be posting more since I have quite a bit written up for this story, so if you're interested in reading more - feedback, feedback, feedback! Reviews are a surefire way of getting me to post another chapter ;)**

**I hope you enjoy it! I'd love for you guys to review and let me know what you think!**

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><p>The dead were beginning to swarm around the building and if she did not act quickly, it would become nearly impossible for her to get close to it, let alone reach the entrance. Ammo was running low and if she kept up the way she has been, she'd be out in no time. With a deep sigh, she tucked her standard <em>Grach<em> into the waistband of her pants, replacing it with her bloodied hatchet which she aimed at the few stragglers that were in her way.

She would have felt sorry, hacking into the head of the American soldiers and civilians that were gathered around the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, but their decaying faces and lunging forms left her with little sympathy. After clearing her path, she made a beeline to the massive building's shuttered doors. With a growl, she heaved her hatchet into the metal shutters, receiving nothing else, but a loud clang in response.

She swore, "дерьмо." She pounded on the door with her fists and she caught sight of the security camera above the door, the red light like a watchful eye, "I know you are in there!" She shouted, her English sounding broken and the thick Russian accent was a clue as to why, "Let me in!"

Anger rumbled in her throat as she whirled around, gun no longer in her waistband but in her hand as she unloaded a round into one of the creatures that stumbled a little too close to her, hitting it directly between the eyes with ease. Taking a quick survey of the others and how close they were, she spun around and hit the shuttered door once more.

"Let me_ in_!" She yelled, "_Please_!"

The sound of a motor kicked on and she staggered back as the shutters began to open and when they clicked to a stop at the top, she locked eyes with the man standing behind the glass doors. There was a moment of hesitation as she looked at him and then she remembered the flesh eating reanimated corpses slowly making their way towards her and she was quick to enter the building despite the assault rifle the man held haphazardly in his hands.

Silence took over as neither of them spoke, both locked in a stare down with the other. They were analyzing each other; he was taking note of her rigid form and the exhaustion that creeped into her eyes and she saw the hopelessness behind his own. It had to be nearly a minute before the man uttered, "A blood test." It earned him a strange look from the woman across from him, "If you want to stay here, you'll need to submit to a blood test."

She wanted to sneer, "What makes you think I want to stay?" She asked.

"Why else would you be here?"

An icy look was sent his way, but it melted into a look of acceptance, "A blood test, then."

He swiped a keycard through a nearby keypad, "Vi, close the doors." He called out and she jumped slightly as the shuttered doors began to descend. Glancing behind her, she took one look outside at the dead walking around until the door shut and they were nothing but a memory. Even still, she didn't let her guard down, both of her weapons were firmly in hand and she had no intention of giving this man any sort of upper hand.

He cleared his throat, fidgeting with the gun he held. He appeared nervous now that the shutters were down. Her face strained as she tried to keep a neutral mask on. She was not scared of this man who was garbed in a white lab coat and who held his gun with such carelessness. Fear was something she had all but erased in her first few years in the military. There were sixteen year old cadets back home who stood with more confidence than this man, who treated their weapons as though they were extensions of themselves. No, she was not scared. She was cautious.

"Your name?" He asked once he finally gathered his nerves.

Steadying her gaze, she mused over his question and gave him an answer regardless of her internal protests, "Serafina Dauksza." She swallowed back the initial urge to follow up her name with her rank and number; with the world the way it is, rank meant nothing. She looked at him expectantly.

"You're Russian." He sounded surprised and even bewildered, but seemed to have realized his rudeness, "Edwin Jenner — Doctor!" He corrected, "Dr. Edwin Jenner..."

"You are..." She looked around scouring the lobby for anyone else, "... the only one here?"

He looked solemn as he answered, "Yes." She was quick to ask another question, "For how long?" He looked as though he wasn't going to answer, but he flashed a glance to the pistol in her right hand and thought better of it, "A while now." Another bout of silence took over, but Edwin was quick to break it, "Follow me." He told her.

He led her deeper into the CDC, down some odd number of floors and he watched her as they walked, observing the way she trained her eyes on the passing surroundings and how she kept her hand on the pistol which was tucked into the front of her waistband.

"Military?" He asked and she quirked a dark eyebrow as if to ask if it were obvious, "The way you carry yourself." He told her, "Very military-esque."

"Ground Forces." She said although she did not expect him to be familiar with the structure of the Russian military.

"Is that why you're here?" Came the next question as they arrived at a heavy looking metal door. He slid his keycard into the keypad next to the door and entered a few numbers on the keypad causing the door to slide open."

"Before this... _outbreak_... myself along with my fellow senior officers were in New York for a meeting." She explained, "New York is not a good place to be when the dead start eating the living." Edwin grimaced at the implication, "My colleagues did not make it out of the city." Serafina's face remained blank.

"You don't seem all that upset." Edwin commented.

Her face was passive as she said, "I'm Russian. We don't dwell."

He stared at her as though he didn't believe her. Her eyes, though tired and hardened, looked sad. He couldn't imagine his own eyes looked any different, "Why come here, then?" He asked.

"Washington D.C. was overrun, I could not even get close. I had to take to the backroads and thought the best place to go would be here, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention." She paused, "Although, it does not seem that you all have done much controlling or preventing."

He looked at her, annoyed, as he prepared for the blood test, "Some things are beyond our control." He murmured.

She pursed her lips as she held her arm out for the doctor, "Do you know what this is?"

Cleaning her arm off, he looked at her, unsure if he should trust the woman with such information, "It could be a number of things." He explained and she scoffed, "In short, you do not know." He shook his head, "I'm afraid not." She didn't flinch as he stuck her with the needle, "This meeting in New York; what was it about?" He wasn't surprised when his question was met with silence. An amused smirk appeared on his face, "Is that classified information?" He joked.

"Yes." She answered.

Neither spoke while Edwin finished taking blood from her, labeling the vial as she watched his every move.

"I'm going to run some tests." He told her, "There's a kitchen down the hall to the left if you're hungry."

Serafina nodded and grabbed her bag before heading out the heavy metal door, leaving Edwin to his own devices. The kitchen was not hard to find and it was full of nonperishable food, one sign that the man had been alone for a while now. She set out to make powdered eggs and grabbed a bottle of water to quench the thirst that seemed to have snuck up on her.

It was not an hour later that Edwin made a reappearance in the kitchen, not saying anything about the blood test until Serafina asked him, "Everything is clear." He told her.

"You do not look so sure." She commented.

"I can't be sure, yet." He mumbled as he got a pot of coffee ready, offering her a cup when it was finished which she accepted, drinking it without cream or sugar. She let that conversation end without any further questions knowing that she would find out what he meant eventually.

It was silence that filled the room as they both drank their coffee. Though neither would say anything about the subject, both were happy to not be alone anymore. Peace, however, would not last as most things did not these days.


	2. Spirits

A week passed rather uneventfully. Serafina was quick to notice Edwin would lock himself in his lab and it would be hours before he would reemerge only to have a cup of a coffee and return to the lab within just a few minutes. It had been a long time coming and his sanity was slowly starting to slip especially after losing the last fresh sample due to contamination.

It had been on the fourth night that Serafina heard him rummaging around the kitchen and walked in to find him with a half empty bottle of hard liquor. It was only after he passed out did she stow the bottle away and drape a blanket over his hunched over form before leaving a glass of water and some aspirin for him to take when he woke up. He hasn't been quite the same since. He had been open before. There was still a small glimmer of hope in his eyes. Now, however, it was as if the very meaning of his existence was torn from him.

Serafina spent hours mulling over the contents of her bag; two packed manila folders and stamped on the front of each in large, red lettering was the word 'Classified'. She found it funny that Edwin was indeed right about the subject of the meeting being secretive and she was quick to stash the folders away whenever he would leave his lab, as rare of an occasion as it was.

Within the first two days of her being at the CDC, she had wandered around all open areas of the building, familiarizing herself with it. After that, whenever her nose wasn't deep in her manila folders, she was in the large computer room, staring intently at the clock that was counting down. She did not ask Edwin about it as she already had a good idea what would happen when the clock reached zero which she had no intention of being here to witness.

It was on her eighth day there that she noticed something peculiar on the security monitors. "Edwin!" She called out, not knowing if he could hear her from his office. She kept her eyes trained on the screen as a group of people shot their way to the main entrance of the building she currently was residing in. "Edwin!" She yelled louder.

He seemed to have heard her the second time and poked his unkempt head out the office door. "What is it?" He asked.

"A group of people." She told him motioning to the screen.

Edwin crossed the room in long strides and Serafina stood from the chair allowing him to take a seat. He typed a few commands into the computer and the camera angle shifted slightly. "It moved!" Cried out one of the men, who donned a sheriff's uniform, but the others in his group ignored him, continuing to tell him that no one was there.

"Just leave." Edwin muttered under his breath. "_Leave._"

"Why are you not opening the doors?" Serafina asked and when she did not receive an answer she grasped his shoulder firmly. "There are women and children out there." She noted. "They will die if you do not let them in."

"You're killing us!" Shouted the man as he was dragged away from the door. "You're killing us!"

There was a long drawn out silence before he spoke. "You will meet them in the lobby." She nodded and bolted off to the entrance of the building, hearing Edwin commanding Vi to open the doors. Her gun was in hand in case these people turned out to be unfriendly as she had realized that many people did not keep their humanity once the world ended.

By the time she reached the lobby, the shutters were nearly open. Aiming her gun, she kicked the door open and directed her question at the man who had pleaded with them. "Are any of you infected?"

He paused as if confused by her appearance. "One of us was. He didn't make it."

His honesty would have been applauded but she figured now was not the right time as she ushered the group in, noting the untrusting glances she received from a few in the group, namely the stocky man with dark hair and even darker eyes. She chose to ignore it.

Edwin had reached the lobby by the time the entire group had safely made it into the building. He stood as he had when Serafina had met him; nervous and holding his gun awkwardly but still at the ready. "Why are you here? What do you want?"

"A chance." Was the response.

The blond doctor had to resist the urge to scoff at the man's request. "That's asking an awful lot these days."

"I know." Said the sheriff. His group stared at Edwin and Serafina unsteadily as if they were afraid to even breathe wrong. Edwin could feel his heart palpitate as he looked at these people who he had the opportunity to grant a second chance. He looked to Serafina for guidance only to find her staring down the group waiting for anyone to make a wrong move.

He stepped forward. "You all submit to a blood test." He told them. "That's the price of admission."

The sheriff, who seemed to be the leader, nodded. "We can do that." He said when there were no objections.

Lowering his weapon, Edwin said. "You got stuff to bring in, you do it now." He pointed at the entrance. "Once this door closes, it stays closed." Serafina shot him a look, but otherwise said nothing about the statement, not knowing if it was some sort of veiled threat or if it was hinting towards what may come when the clock hit zero.

She provided cover for the few who ventured back outside to grab their bags from their vehicles. They were quick about it, something she was thankful for as the sun was already low in the sky and those _things _seemed to be all the more active at night.

Once everyone had filed back into the building, she and the older man closed the doors. Edwin did as he had done when she had arrived and swiped his keycard through the keypad. "Vi, seal the main entrance and kill the power up here." The lights dimmed and the shutter doors closed for the final time.

"Rick Grimes." The sheriff introduced himself to Edwin whose eyes shifted unsteadily. "Dr. Edwin Jenner."

Rick Grimes looked to Serafina who had remained near the good doctor. "You are?"

After hesitating a moment she said. "Serafina Dauksza."

"Are you a doctor as well?" A dark haired woman asked and then introduced herself as Lori Grimes, Rick's wife.

The Russian shook her head. "Soldier." She corrected. "Ground Forces of the Russian Federation."

"A Russian soldier?" The dark haired man questioned looking on at her with distrust and speculation.

Serafina did not answer him, not liking the way his dark eyes raked over her form as if she were a threat to him and his group instead she looked to Edwin. "The blood test, then?"

Edwin nodded as though he had forgotten about it. "Yes." He looked to the group. "If you'll follow me." They trailed behind him as he led them to the elevator with Serafina following behind them, not trusting any of them enough to have her backs to them.

Once they had all piled into the large elevator, an uncomfortable and awkward quiet erupted and the only thing that filled the void of nothingness was the humming of the elevator.

"Doctors always go around packing heat like that?" A scruffy looking man in the corner asked.

Edwin did not miss a beat. "There were plenty left lying around. I familiarized myself." He shot a look to Serafina who had a smirk on her face; the pair knew that it had been Serafina who showed him the ins and outs of firearms when she first came after seeing how pathetically he was holding his gun. His gaze shifted around to the group, glancing over at each of them. "But, you look harmless enough." His eyes settled on the small boy who it could only be assumed was the Grimes' son as he was nestled against Lori. "Except you." Edwin said to him. "I'll have to keep my eye on you." The boy tried to hold back a smile and Edwin chuckled softly to himself.

The elevator lurched to a stop and they filed out. As they were walking through the halls, the woman with short hair asked. "Are we underground?"

Edwin turned his head. "Are you claustrophobic?" He asked.

The woman shrugged. "A little."

"Try not to think about it." Serafina told her. "It is not so bad."

They came to the large computer room and once they entered Edwin called out. "Vi, bring up the lights in the big room." The lights flicked on. "Welcome to Zone 5."

Rick looked confused. "Where is everybody?" He asked as he and his group followed Edwin into the room. "The doctors, the staff?" He looked between Edwin and Serafina who had once again opted to stand closer to Edwin than a group of strangers. "Is it just you two?"

Edwin was the one to answer. "Yes." He confirmed. "Just us."

Lori spoke up from the back of the crowd. "What about the person you were speaking with?" She asked. "Vi?"

Edwin bit back a smile. "Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them ... welcome."

An automated computer voice echoed around the room. "_Hello, guests. Welcome_." Everyone looked around, confused and even a bit frightened at the sound of the disembodied voice.

It was obvious to the two inhabitants of the CDC that the newcomers were less than pleased with the news that all that was left of the CDC was one doctor and a soldier who wasn't even American. "I'm sorry." Edwin lamented.

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><p>Edwin had ushered the group into one of the lecture rooms located around the big computer room and had begun to take blood from each of the survivors tasking Serafina with writing the names of each on the vials which gave her the chance to learn everyone's name.<p>

"What's the point?" Andrea asked as Edwin took her blood. "If we were infected we'd all be running a fever."

"I've already broken every rule in the book letting you in here." He told her. "Let me just at least be thorough." He took the syringe out and handed the vial to Serafina. "All done." He told Andrea. As she went to get up, she stumbled a bit as if dizziness had suddenly hit her. "Are you all right?" Edwin asked.

Andrea hummed a yes, but Jacqui told him differently. "She hasn't eaten in days. None of us have."

Serafina gave Edwin an expectant look as she slid the vial into one of the holding slots after she had labeled it, Andrea being the last to have her blood taken. "Serafina will show you to the kitchen." Edwin informed them. "Help yourselves."

Everyone seemed to light up at the prospect of food and eagerly followed Serafina to the kitchen. It wasn't long before they had something cooking and it took even less time for them to find the stash of wine and liquor which Serafina had tried to keep hidden from Edwin. Dale, who was pouring the wine, offered her a glass.

"No, thank you." She declined as she spotted a bottle of vodka hidden away behind all the wine. "I'll stick to vodka." She said grabbing the bottle, not bothering with a glass.

"Typical Russian." The dirty redneck by the name of Daryl muttered as he himself claimed a bottle of tequila.

She snorted. "Typical American. Drinking that piss poor excuse for liquor."

Daryl looked as though he was debating retaliating with a smart aleck comeback, but instead he laughed and took a swig. "Ya ain't bad for a communist!"

With a roll of her eyes she threw back the bottle, not caring as the contents stung her throat on the way down. It had been a long while since she last had a chance to enjoy herself and she'd be damned if being in a room full of strangers was going to prevent her from that opportunity. Though, it seemed that the rest of the room had the same idea as they drank and ate, talking to each other merrily as if there wasn't a care in the world. Edwin had joined the group a little after the spirits had started being passed around and he sat idly next to Serafina as Dale tried to persuade Lori to let Carl have some wine.

"Are you well?" Serafina asked Edwin in a low voice.

Edwin waved her off. "I'm fine." He reassured though she did not believe him. When he had opened up the door for her a week ago, he had been a different person. It was strange how in the matter of a week a person's disposition could change so much, but hope was a rare thing to come by nowadays and it seemed that Edwin had learned that lesson the hard way.

Rick glanced on at his two hosts, noting the way they spoke quietly to each other; Edwin with a somber expression and Serafina had a light smile as if she were trying to coax him out of his dilapidated mood.

With a clinking of his glass, Rick gained the attention of everyone in the room. He stood up and held his glass in the air. "It seems we have not thanked our hosts properly."

"They're more than just our hosts." T-Dog slurred, the wine already having taken its affect.

There was a round of agreement as everyone raised their glasses and in the case of Daryl, his entire bottle. "Booyah!"

Rick looked to the pair. "Thank you." He told them.

Serafina gave them an easy smile and Edwin still looked unsure as he took a swig from his wine glass and he could tell that Serafina was monitoring his alcohol intake from the corner of her eye.

The cheerful atmosphere was broken as Shane asked. "So, when are ya gonna tell us what happened here, Doc?" He looked over at Edwin expectedly. "All the — the other doctors that were supposed to be figurin' out what happened. Where are they?"

Rick looked at his friend with disappointment. "We're supposed to be celebratin', Shane. Don't need to do this now."

Shane, however, did not let the conversation end easily. "Whoa, wait a second. This is why we're here, right? This was your move. We were supposed to find all the answers, instead—" He let out an indignant chuckle and gestured to Edwin and Serafina who were sitting in silence. "...we find them." Another chuckle. "Two people." He looked as though he was getting angry now. "Why?"

Edwin did not seem as affronted by Shane's hostility as Serafina did. "Well, when things got bad people just ... left; went off to be with their families." Edwin explained. "And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted."

"Every last one?" Shane asked with disbelieving smirk on his face.

"No, many couldn't face walking out the door." Edwin told him. "They ... _opted out._" That seemed to make a reasonable amount of the group uncomfortable. "There was a rash of suicides." He looked down. "That was a bad time."

"You didn't leave." Andrea spoke. "Why?"

Serafina looked to him anticipating his answer as she had wondered why when there was no one left, he had stayed. "I just kept working. Hoping to do some good." That seemed to satisfy Andrea, but Serafina had a feeling that there was something more that kept Edwin here, though she would not push the discussion.

Glenn hopped down from the counter to take a seat in one of the empty chairs around the table. "Man, you are such a buzzkill." He grumbled to Shane.

"You..." Dale spoke and directed his question at Serafina. "Where do you come into all of this?" He asked although unlike Shane there was no malice in his voice.

She set her glass down on the table and leaned back into the chair. "I had been in New York when this outbreak started."

"New York?" Lori asked. "You made it all the way here from New York?"

Serafina nodded. "Yes, it was not easy. It took me nearly two months to get here." She said. "I had tried to go to Washington at first thinking that the capitol would be the safest area, but it was overrun by the time I got there. This was my next destination."

"What's a Russian soldier doin' in New York in the first place?" Shane asked.

Serafina ignored his question and instead pointed out. "You do not like soldiers." Then she asked. "Why?"

Shane furrowed his brow. "The military is supposed to protect the people." He said. "What I saw when this whole thing started — they weren't doin' no protectin', I can tell ya that."

Her mouth set in a line and her eyes narrowed. "Things had gotten out of hand extraordinarily fast." She said. "I had no part in whatever it is that you saw. Do not look at me as though I am the enemy."

"You didn't answer my question."

She stared him down. "And I have no intention to."

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><p><strong>Here's a bit longer second chapter for you guys! Please review and let me know what you think!<strong>


	3. PTSD

Edwin led the group through the halls. "Most of the facility is powered down." He told them. "Including housing, so you'll have to make do here. The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like. There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy." He came to a stop and turned to the two children who had been following closely behind him. "Just don't plug in the video games, okay? Or anything that draws power." He looked to the adults of the group. "The same applies — if you shower, go easy on the hot water." With that said, he left the group.

"Hot water?" Glenn repeated.

T-Dog had a grin on his face. "That's what the man said."

Serafina squeezed her way through the crowd of people and made her way after Edwin who was a couple of paces in front of her in the hallway leading to the computer room. "Have you found your answer?"

Edwin glanced over his shoulder. "Yes." He told her.

"What is it, then?"

He stopped and looked at her, examining her face as though he was looking for something. Instead he found a pair of piercing blue eyes staring back at him expectantly. "We're — we're all infected." There was no shock that lit up in her eyes. No mouth agape. Just a steady gaze and a mouth set in a firm line as she hummed lightly in a thoughtful manner. He let out an airy laugh. "You don't look surprised."

"I am not." She said.

He stared at her for a moment not quite understanding until it dawned on him. "New York?"

"New York." She mumbled.

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><p>It was a little while later that Rick had made an appearance in the computer room where he unsurprisingly found Edwin and Serafina. "How's the blood?" He asked.<p>

"No surprises." Edwin told him and he caught the knowing glance Serafina threw him. When Rick did not leave immediately, he looked at Serafina unsurely and then at Rick, waiting to see what else he had to say.

Rick held loosely onto the bottle of wine in his hands and it was obvious that he was a little more than tipsy at this point. "I came to thank you."

"You ... did." Edwin mumbled. Rick stumbled and fell against one of the computers. "You — you all right?"

"You don't know what it's like." He said to Edwin, laughing afterwards. "You don't know what it's like out there. You may think you do, but you don't." He rubbed at his face and a solemn look took over. "We'd have died out there. It was only a matter of time. There's too many of those things." His eyes appeared glassy as he continued. "My — my boy ... my wife ... I never ..." He looked into Edwin's eyes, sparing Serafina a glance. "I never told them what I thought. I ... I never even hinted. I just kept it in and kept us movin', you know."

"It'll all be okay." Edwin told the babbling man. "It'll be okay."

Rick looked as though he didn't believe him and the grave look on the woman's face behind Edwin told him that it was not going to be okay. Edwin peeked over his shoulder at Serafina in what could only be described as an S.O.S. signal and Serafina lurched out of her seat and walked over to the man sitting on the ground.

"Come on. I will make sure you get back to your room." She offered Rick a hand which he took and she heaved him up on his feet making sure he was steady as he swayed just slightly. "I will see you in the morning." She told Edwin. "Have a good night." She took one last look at the clock which was still counting down and realized it wouldn't be long now.

* * *

><p>As she led Rick through the halls, his grim mood lifted and he was attempting to make conversation with the quiet blonde.<p>

"Soldier, huh?" He asked. "What made you decide to go into that field?"

"Family," She muttered, "...my father and his father and his father before that and so on..." She gave him a minuscule smile. "I would have been an embarrassment had I not gone into the military."

Rick chuckled. "I know how that is. My dad and granddad were sheriff back in their time, seemed only right that I follow in their footsteps."

"It is a good thing you did." She said. "The uniform fits you."

He looked her up and down, noting her cutoffs and plain tank top. "Don't suppose that's regulation military wear?"

"I wish this had all happened in the winter." She stated. "I am not accustomed to this kind of heat, especially in the South." It was far too hot for her in Georgia having grown up in northern Russia; anything above 10˚ Celsius and she was praying for a cold front.

"This is me." Rick said as he pointed at one of the doors. "Thank you kindly for escorting me to my room."

Serafina smirked. "It was my pleasure." She said and then swiped the bottle of wine from his hands. "I will be taking this. Good night." She left little room for argument as she headed down the hall into the room she had been occupying since the first day.

Setting the bottle of wine down on the desk, she began packing what little belongings she had into her bag. Taking her canteens she filled them up with some water from the sink and then headed into the kitchen to throw whatever food she could into pack as well as a few bottles of water just in case.

She wandered into the rec area, a room where she had only been to on her first walkthrough of the building. Looking at the bookshelf, she began to sort through some of the books, muttering something about missing her Russian books. While she spoke nearly fluent English, reading and writing the language was an entirely different subject. With a shrug, she figured it wouldn't hurt to try the very least and she picked out a few novels to take with her though she didn't know if she'd ever have a chance to actually read them.

She'd settled into her cot soon after that, the alcohol in her system making it so she fell asleep almost instantly though her dreams were plagued by monstrous faces and a mass of flames.

* * *

><p>She awoke with a start; gasping as though she had been holding her breath. Raking a hand through her hair, she could feel the dampness that could only be from the cold sweat that had built up in her sleep. Nightmares were nothing new to her. When she came back from her first deployment, after seeing her comrades limbs getting blown off and their faces get so disfigured the only way to identify the remains was through their dental records, she had gone through a long process of mentally recovering. She had been plagued by nightmares that didn't always occur when she was asleep.<p>

The flashbacks would hit her randomly and usually at the most inconvenient of times. A car backfiring would send her to the ground instantly, her arms over her head as she assumed the fetal position and she would shake as tears filled her eyes thinking she was being shot at. A man passing by in the street would bare a remarkable resemblance to one of her fallen comrades and she would fight back the urge to vomit as the image of his mutilated body seared itself into her mind and she could almost smell the burning flesh.

Now, she was worried that all the progress she had made within the last ten years was for naught and she was regressing. It wouldn't be a surprise, though. These were warlike conditions the world was now living in, perhaps even worse than war. Those who managed to survive lived their lives in fear of the walking dead and if they didn't kill you then perhaps other survivors or starvation would first. Simpler days were in the past and there was no end to this apocalypse in sight.

It was a hot shower that brought her mind peace as though the steam had helped clear her clogged head. When she first came here, she had heeded Edwin's warning about not using too much hot water, but seeing as she planned to leave she would indulge in this remaining luxury before she'd be forced to go days without a shower.

When she arrived at the kitchen with her damp hair in a pony tail, she found a handful of the group sitting around one of the tables eating powdered eggs that T-Dog had prepared. He was quick to offer her a plate which she accepted, saying a quick 'thank you' as she joined the rest at the table.

"I'm surprised you're up so early." Dale commented. "You drank nearly half of that bottle of vodka last night."

"There is a reason that the Russian word for water is so closely sounding to vodka." Serafina told him, a slight teasing tone to her voice. She elbowed the half asleep Asian boy who was sitting next to her. "Are you all right?" She just got a groan in response.

"Hello." Rick yawned as he walked into the kitchen.

Dale greeted him cheerfully. "Morning."

Little Carl was quick to ask. "Are you hungover?" Which earned him a stern look from his mother and a chuckle from Serafina who was trying to hide her smile by taking a sip out of her orange juice. "Mom said you'd be."

"Mom is right." Rick told his son as he took a seat.

Lori smiled to herself. "Mom has that annoying habit."

T-Dog came around with another batch of powdered eggs claiming that protein helps with hangovers though Serafina has never found a better cure for a hangover than a greasy hamburger from McDonalds although she wasn't sure if a Russian McDonalds and an American McDonalds made the hamburgers the same way.

There was aspirin on the table for anyone who was suffering from their hangovers, a gift from Edwin. Rick seemed to be having trouble opening the container and Serafina grinned as he asked his wife for help with it. "Childproof?" She mused. He sent her a deadpan look, but it was quick to turn into a smile.

Beside her, Glenn was groaning as Jacqui rubbed his back. "Don't ever ever ever let me drink again."

"You say that now..." Serafina said. "What is that proverb — get back on the horse that bit you?"

Jacqui laughed. "I don't think that applies to this situation."

When Shane came into the kitchen, the large scratch marks down the side of his neck sent off red flags. "What the hell happened to you?" T-Dog asked. "Your neck?"

"Musta done it in my sleep." Shane mumbled as he sat down at the table with his cup of coffee.

"I've never seen you do that before." Rick commented.

"Me neither." Shane agreed. "Not like me at all." He sent an accusing look to Lori who kept her head down as she picked at her plate of food. No one else seemed to have noticed the exchange and if someone did they did not say anything about it.

"Morning." Edwin greeted as he walked in and headed straight to the pot of coffee, two mugs hanging limply in his hands. He received a 'Hey Doc' from Shane and a nod from Serafina as she had her mouth full of eggs.

Dale barely gave the man time to pour his cup of coffee. "Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing—" Edwin didn't even glance back at the man. "But you will anyway."

"We didn't come here for the eggs." Andrea told him.

Edwin looked around at the group and Serafina was surprised he didn't let out a sigh of exasperation. He walked over to her and handed her one of the mugs he had filled up, keeping with his tradition of pouring her a cup of a coffee in the morning. She sent him an appreciative smile and he gave her a strained one in return.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! I've been getting some pretty good feedback on this story and that makes me so happy :) Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and added this story to their story alerts! You guys are awesome!<strong>

**If you can take the time to leave a review whether it be a long critique or a short little one, I'd forever be appreciative! I like to hear what you guys think of the story and if there's anything you want me to change, add in, etc. Also, as I am not Russian nor do I have anyone I know that is Russian, if you guys notice anything off with anything I have mentioned or may mention in the future that refers to Russia or Russian culture, don't be afraid to correct me! I'm sort of researching things as I go, so I am by no means an expert about anything Russian related.**


	4. Compassion

They were led to the big computer room and all had gathered around, Serafina taking a seat in one of the chairs before sipping at her no longer scorching coffee. The rest simply stood behind her and Edwin as he typed some controls into the computer. "Give me a playback of TS-19." The robotic voice of Vi echoed. "_Playback of TS-19_." The large screen at the head of the room turned on. "Few people ever got the chance to see this." Edwin said. "Very few."

On the screen, an X-ray-like image of a head was being process. "Is that a brain?" Carl asked in awe.

Edwin sent the little boy a smile. "An extraordinary one." A frown quickly replaced the smile on his face as he looked at the screen. "Not that it matters in the end." He gave another command for Vi. "Take us in for E.I.V."

"_Enhanced internal view._" The image zoomed in on the brain which was lit up with activity.

"What are those lights?" Shane asked.

"It's a person's life. Experiences, memories. It's everything." Edwin explained. "Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light — is you. The thing that makes you unique and human."

It was not surprising that no one understood what he was talking about. "You make sense ever?" Daryl asked.

"They are synapses." Serafina piped up and that earned a surprised look from Edwin. "Electric impulses in the brain that carry messages."

Edwin nodded. "That's right. They determine everything a person says, does, or thinks from the moment of birth until the moment death."

"Death?" Rick echoed. "Is that what this is — a vigil?"

"Vigil..." Edwin said as if pondering the word, "...yes." He turned to Rick, "Or rather the playback of the vigil."

That was the moment of realization for many in the room. What they were viewing at this moment was the brain of someone who was long dead. "This person died?" Andrea asked. "Who?"

"Test Subject 19." Edwin said. "Someone who was bitten and infected ... and volunteered to have us record the process." Serafina remained quiet as she studied Edwin's face as he spoke of this person; he seemed sad. "Vi, fast forward to first event."

"_Scanning to first event._"

On screen, parts of the brain were beginning to turn black starting with the brain stem and it progressed to the rest of the brain, the lights slowly dying out. "What is that?" Glenn asked.

"It invades the brain like meningitis." Edwin clarified. "The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs." There was a solemn look on his face. "Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be ... gone."

Serafina's hands clenched at her coffee mug as she thought back to New York and to her colleagues — her friends who had been victims to this disease, who she had to put down herself. She thought about her mother and father and brothers back in Russia. They were a world away and if this thing was a global catastrophe like she believed, they could already be dead and gone; they could be turned, staggering around eating the flesh of the living.

Andrea looked as though she was close to tears. "She lost somebody two days ago." Lori explained. "Her sister."

Edwin gave her a look full of empathy. "I lost somebody, too." He told her. "I know how devastating it is." He looked back towards the screen. "Scan to second event."

"_Scanning to second event_."

"The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes." Edwin said. "The longest we've heard was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute ... seven-seconds." The brain which had been completely black, now had a small red light erupt starting at the brain stem.

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked in disbelief.

Edwin corrected her. "No, just the brain stem. Basically gets them up and moving."

"But, they're not alive?" Rick questioned.

That was a concern that could be up for debate. "What constitutes being alive?" Serafina asked although it could have been a rhetorical question as she was not looking for an answer rather she was urging all of them to ask themselves that question.

Rick looked over at her and by the look on his face he was seriously contemplating her remark. He looked back up at the screen. "It's nothing like before." He commented about the image. "Most of the brain is dark."

"Dark, lifeless, dead." Edwin said. "The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part — that doesn't come back. The _you_ part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct." After he said that a light ripped through the brain, tearing it apart.

"God. What was that?" Carol asked.

"He shot his patient in the head." Andrea said. "Didn't you?"

Edwin seemed to ignore her question. "Vi, power down the main screen and the work stations."

"_Powering down main screen and work stations_."

Andrea spoke up, her voice trembling as though she was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. "You have no idea what it is, do you?"

Serafina's eyes were downcast when Edwin looked over at her as though she was guilty or ashamed of something. "It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal—"

"Or the wrath of God?" Jacqui piped in.

"There is that."

"Somebody must know something." Andrea said. "Somebody somewhere."

"There are others, right? Other facilities?" Carol asked.

Serafina tapped at her mug, feeling her heart palpitate as self-reproach gnawed at her. "There may be some. People like me." Edwin said.

"You don't know?" Rick asked, "How can you not know?!"

"Everything went down." Edwin explained. "Communications, directives — all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month."

Daryl looked over at Serafina. "What 'bout you? Yer military, ya haven't heard nothin'?" Serafina gave him a solemn look, "I have not received anything." She thought to her radio that was packed away in her bag. She has not turned it on within the last month after hearing nothing but static for a week straight.

"So, it's not just here? There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing?" Andrea asked trying to clarify what the two were saying. "That's what you're really saying, isn't it?"

This was not the answers that these people were looking for, Serafina could see it in their exasperated and tired eyes, but she knew that they could not keep hoping for something to drop out of the sky and save them.

"Dr. Jenner, I hate to ask you one more question, but—" Dale looked to the clock which had reached one hour remaining. "That clock, what happens at zero?"

Edwin looked hesitant to answer. "The basement generators — they run out of fuel." He said quickly, leaving it at that.

"And then?" Rick asked and when he received no answer he looked around. "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"

"_When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur_."

Serafina swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked to the blank screen. The image of the darkened brain etched into her memory and she felt the pit of her stomach swirl with a wide arrangement of emotions.

_This is what humanity is capable of._

* * *

><p>Edwin had left the room swiftly after that. Serafina had remained with the group for a few moments. "You all should go back to your rooms." She told them. "Pack your belongings."<p>

"A few of us will head to the basement and take a look at those generators." Rick said.

Serafina spared a glance to the clock and then looked back at him. "Be quick about it."

With that said she followed after Edwin who was not hard to find. She found him sitting in his office, a picture frame in his hands and he spoke to it with tears in his eyes. "I did the best I could for as long as I could." He said. "I hope you would be proud of me."

"Your wife?" She asked, startling the man and she gestured to the picture frame which was now face down on the desk.

Edwin looked at her with glassy eyes and he did not know if this woman was a blessing in disguise or not. When he had seen her nearly ten days ago, fighting her way to the building, he did not want to let her in. He did not want to let anybody in, but there was something about the way she yelled and pounded at the door with such vigor. She had a lot of fight left in her, more than he expected anyone to have at this point. He had let her in despite his want to close himself off and let the time run out. Now, she stood before him with her fierce blue eyes and her jaw set with determination.

This woman that he had only met ten days ago was the only friend he had left in this world. She had shown him how to work a gun. She had been the one to take care of him when he tried to drown himself with alcohol. She sat with him even if it was in complete silence as he continued to work.

He nodded. "Yes."

"In all this time that I have been here we have not spoken much." She noted. "You saved my life."

Edwin laughed quietly. "You would have kept on fighting no matter what."

"I am not talking about just in the literal sense." Serafina said. "I was alone. I was alone for so long and it was not easy. I would have kept on fighting had you not opened the door for me that day, but what would I be fighting for? An empty existence? A life of loneliness?" She sucked in air through her nose. "You let me in and what I found in here was not salvation from the dead walking around ... I was not alone anymore." He stayed silent as he listened. "You could have left me out there, you could have ignored me, but you didn't." She looked at him. "I think you were just as lonely as I was."

He looked as though he was pondering her words before he finally said. "Yes, I was." He looked out the glass window that overlooked the computer room. "We always think there's gonna be more time..." The lights began to power down leaving the pair in darkness. "...then it runs out."

"What does happen when time runs out?" She stared at the clock. "Does this place turn into a gas chamber? Does the air run out?" Her dreams of fire popped into her head. "Fire?" At that, Edwin glanced up. "That is it, then?" The expression on his face told her everything he needed. "You are just going to let the clock hit zero and take all these people with you?"

He stared at her. "What would you have me do?"

"You could come with me and leave this place behind you." He would not come with her, she knew that, but she hoped he would. "But you will not do that." She was aware that he was lightly shaking his head. "Do not drag these people down with you." She told him. "Do not drag _me _down with you."

"What is left out there for you?" He asked. "There is _nothing_." He was frustrated now, his eyebrows furrowing and a frown marring his face.

Her lips set in a line, "I am not looking for anything. I am not hoping to somehow be saved from this horrible life, but I am not looking to end it all, to take the coward's way out. Even if somewhere down this road I die, I will die knowing that I at least _tried_."

Edwin did not say another word about it and instead walked past her knowing she would be following after him. The others were emerging from their rooms, asking why the lights were turning off.

"What's going on?" Daryl asked when he poked his head out of his room. "Why is everything turning off?"

Edwin plucked the bottle of liquor from the redneck's hand. "Energy use is being prioritized." He took a long swig from the bottle.

"Air isn't a priority? And lights?" Dale asked.

"It's not up to me. Zone 5 is shutting itself down." The lights in the hall began to turn off and everyone trailed behind Edwin as he led them to the computer room.

"Hey! Hey, what the hell does that mean?" Daryl questioned and when he didn't receive an answer from Edwin he was at the man's side in a millisecond. "Hey, man I'm talkin' to you! What do you mean it's shuttin' itself down? How can a buildin' do anythin'?"

The rest of their group who had gone to the basement returned.

"You'd be surprised." Edwin muttered.

"Rick!" Lori called out.

Rick quickly approached Edwin. "Jenner, what's happening?"

"The system is dropping all nonessential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running until the last possible second starting at the half-hour mark." He pointed to the clock which was at thirty-one minutes. "It's right on schedule." The man took another sip from the bottle which was snatched from him by Serafina who set the bottle down away from him.

Silence took over as everyone stared at the man with a mixture of incredulity and disgust.

"It was the French." Edwin finally said.

"What?" Andrea asked.

"They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know." Edwin told them. "While our people were bolting out the door and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs until the end. They thought they were close to a solution."

"What happened?" Jacqui questioned.

"The same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean,_ how stupid is that_."

Shane tried to go after Edwin. "Let me tell you somethin'." But he was pull back down by Rick. "Shane, I don't even care right now." He turned to his wife. "Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here, _now_!"

They scrambled to head to the door, but an alarm blaring caught them off guard. "What's that?"

"_Thirty minutes until decontamination_."

The screen powered on showing that the clock had reached thirty minutes. "Doc, what's goin' on here?!" Daryl shouted and Edwin walked over to one of the computers, scanning his I.D. card.

"Everybody, y'all heard Rick! Get your stuff and let's go!" Shane shouted.

"Come on!"

As they made for the exit, they were cut off by the heavy metal door flying down blocking their escape. Everyone looked in disbelief and then their expressions changed to fear. "Did you just lock us in?" Glenn asked. "He just locked us in!"

"Edwin, what are you doing?" Serafina questioned as she followed him to one of the consoles. He ignored her questioning as he typed in some commands and spoke into the camera. "What are you doing?!" Serafina shouted.

"You locked us in here!" Daryl shouted, his voice resonating above all the other frantic ones and he made for Edwin, only to be blocked by Serafina who grabbed him by the collar of her shirt. "Get outta my way!" He ordered.

She shook her head and grunted as she tried to keep the muscular man at bay. "I cannot do that."

"Why ya protectin' him?!" He yelled and pushed her with more force nearly sending her over.

T-Dog was the one to grab hold of him and pull him from the Russian soldier who was doing her best to keep calm. "If you kill him then there is no hope that we will get out. He is the only one that can open the door."

Edwin looked shaken by the redneck's aggression, but he was grateful for Serafina's intervention.

"Hey, Jenner, open that door now." Rick said as he made his way over to the doctor who shook his head. "There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed."

"Well, open the damn things!" Dale chimed in.

"That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that." Everyone looked around at each other having clearly remembered Edwin's cryptic words when they arrived. "It's better this way."

"What is?" Rick asked. "What happens in twenty-eight minutes?" Edwin sighed and turned away from him and began clacking away on his keyboard. "What happens?!"

Abruptly, Edwin stood up. "You know what this place is?!" He shouted. "We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out ever!" Taking a deep breath in he composed himself and sat back down. "In the event of a catastrophic power failure in a terrorist attack for example, H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent anything from getting out."

Rick looked confused. "H.I.T.s?"

"Vi, define."

"_H.I.T.s — high-impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly higher power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure ignites the oxygen between 5,000 and 6,000 degrees and is used when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired._"

"It sets the air on fire..."

"No pain." Edwin said. "An end to sorrow, grief, regret ... everything." He was murmuring softly to Andrea who seemed ready to give up while the others in her group weren't going to go down without a fight. Daryl was shouting and banging on the door and Edwin just shook his head. "Those doors were designed withstand rocket launchers."

"Your head ain't!" He was once again stopped from assaulting the doctor by Rick and Serafina. "Back up! Just back up!" Rick told him.

Serafina shook her head. "Acting like rampant children is not going to solve anything." She said from beside Rick and he gave her a sideways glance. Between Shane and Daryl she couldn't decide who was more temperamental as they took turns throwing fits and shouting at Edwin.

Carol sniffled as she held a tearful Sophia. "My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this."

"Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?" Edwin asked her.

"Open that door or I'm gonna blow your head off!" Shane shouted as Rick tried to reason with him and hold him back.

Serafina breathed in through her nose as she stared at the broken man in front of her. "Do not do this, Edwin." She said as she knelt down in front of him, grabbing his hand as some of the others continued to scream and bang on the door to no avail. "This is not compassion." Staring up at him she asked. "Would your wife have wanted this? Would she have wanted you to do this?" Edwin's nostrils flared and his throat clenched as he listened to her. "Your wife didn't have a choice."

"You do..." He muttered when the realization struck him.

"That's — that's all we want — a choice, a _chance._" Rick pleaded.

Edwin looked around at the people around him before his eyes settled on Serafina, her eyes begging him to allow her the chance to live once more. "I told you topside's locked down. I can't open those." He relented and began to type some commands into the computers.

"Come on!" Rick shouted. "Let's go!" The door flew open and everyone took the chance to make a run for it. Edwin stopped Rick from leaving, whispering something into his ear and Rick looked at him incredulously.

Edwin looked over at Serafina wasted no time pulling the doctor into a hug. "Thank you, Edwin." She muttered and was about to draw away but on a second thought she leaned in and in the same fashion as him with Rick, whispered into his ear.

"That's it, then?" He asked her when she drew away.

She nodded. "That's it."

Edwin looked down at the floor. "All this time..."

Serafina spared a glance at the clock and knew it was time to leave, "Goodbye, then."

He nodded. "Goodbye."

She ignored the clenching of her heart as she trailed after the group, noting the few who had chosen to stay behind. She knew that not everyone wanted to continue on in this world. This life was not for everyone.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey! Here's a fairly long chapter for you guys! I'm so happy everyone is liking it so far and I can only hope I do a good job to keep your interest! Please leave a review and let me know what you think and if there's anything you would want me to changeadd in/etc. **

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and added this story to their story alerts :)**

**FloodFeSTeR: **_Thank you so much! Yes, this is going to be a Rick/OC although it's going to be a bit slow paced which I hope you don't mind!_

_**walking primrose: **Thank you! I'm trying to keep a lot about her character in the dark because I find I usually give away so much about my characters right from the get go. It's really fun writing this story though because I'm doing things so differently. Hope you liked this chapter!_


	5. Coming Along

The group was in a panic when they found the glass windows in the lobby to be shatterproof. Nothing they threw or bashed against them even put a nick in the surface. It was Carol, surprisingly, who had a solution. "I found this with your things on the first day you came to camp." She told Rick as she held out a grenade she had procured from her bag.

Rick looked at her as though she was a godsend and when he pulled the pin, he yelled for everyone to get down as he ran back from the windows. The bang that resounded through the lobby was deafening and Serafina suddenly lost all control of her limbs as a high pitched ringing pierced her ears.

She was vaguely aware of someone tugging at her, pulling her along with them as the group made their way out of the building. She could barely even process anything other than the gunshots that were popping off causing her to flinch back away from the person who had a grip on her arm which only made them tighten their hold.

It wasn't long before they were at the vehicles and she was being pushed into the cab of a truck. There was another explosion of a much larger scale, but that was in the background of her mind now as disfigured faces and torn off limbs filled her vision. She could hear the screaming of her comrades and their pleading voices. She squeezed her eyes shut and her heartbeat quickened as she tried to force the thoughts from her head.

Rough hands had pulled her down, shielding her from whatever wreckage had occurred and a voice called to her when it was over. "Hey!" She opened her eyes after a long while and peered into the blue eyes of Daryl who looked mildly annoyed, but above all, concerned. "The hell was that?" He asked.

He was met with silence for a moment before she said softly. "I am sorry." Her mouth hung open as though she was going to say more. "I — I just..." Her sentence trailed off as she found there was nothing she could say.

"Forget it." He said whilst shaking his head. He stuck his head out the window as Rick called to him, telling the redneck that they would head out of the city before making any final decisions as to where they would go next. Daryl looked to the woman beside him. "You comin' along for the ride?"

She nodded her head, giving a mute response. There was nothing she had to lose by going with them. It was not as though she had anywhere else to go.

* * *

><p>It was nearing sundown when the group settled on an old abandoned dirt road far from the city. There were a couple of rundown buildings and deserted cars which they would be able to siphon gas from. Everyone looked worn out when they finally came to a stop. "We'll camp here for the night." Rick said when the group gathered by the old beat up Winnebago.<p>

Despite the tiredness and unease that nagged at her, Serafina was glad to see Andrea and Dale alive and well with the group though Andrea did not seem as happy about that fact.

"What do we do now?" Lori asked Rick.

Shane was the one who answered. "We get as much fuel as we can and head to Fort Benning."

Rick was quiet as he contemplated the idea before he nodded, agreeing that that was what they were going to do. Serafina regarded Shane's idea with a quirked eyebrow wondering why it would be that a man who had shown such disdain for her being a soldier would want to go to a military base of all places. She said nothing about the subject though and began to help the rest of the group set up to camp for the night. It didn't go unnoticed by her that Shane had pulled Rick to the side and they started to talk to each other in hushed voices.

* * *

><p>Rick knew that when Shane asked to talk to him in private that the talk would inevitably end up in an argument. "What're we gonna do 'bout her?" Shane questioned.<p>

He didn't need to say a name for Rick to figure out that he was talking about the blonde Russian. He glanced over at her, watching as she talked with Glenn about who knows what. "She stays." Rick said.

Shane wasn't going to let the conversation to end so quickly. "She's dangerous, Rick."

With a snort, Rick retorted. "How? How is she dangerous?" Shane wasn't allowed the opportunity to answer. "She helped us get out of the CDC. Hell, she's probably the reason we're still even alive so how is she dangerous?"

Shane's nostrils flared and he tightened his hands into fists as he stepped towards Rick who didn't back away like any other person would. His voice lowered to a hiss. "We know _nothing _about her. She could kill us all in our sleep and we would never see it coming."

"You want to put it to a vote?" Rick asked. "Do you really think that anyone would vote to leave her behind? After what she's done for us?"

Shane was quiet for a second before he stepped back, his jaw set. "She does anything to put this group in danger and that's on you, Rick."

He walked away and Rick watched him for a moment and then his eyes turned to Serafina who looked on as Shane stormed past her with a questioning gaze.

* * *

><p>The night was infinitely cooler than the day when the sun was high in the sky and it was a relief when the sun finally set behind the distant mountain range. Dinner had already been served and most had already settled in for bed. The Grimes family, save for Rick, was occupying the station wagon along with Carol and her daughter. Shane was sleeping uncomfortably in the front seat of his jeep while nearly everyone else took refuge in the RV.<p>

The only three who were awake were Daryl, Rick, and Serafina. The former of the three was busy preparing his chopper for the journey to Fort Benning. He was irritated when he was told it would be better to leave his truck behind to save fuel. Not wanting to hitch a ride in the RV or with Shane, he ended up deciding to take the motorcycle that was strapped in the bed of his truck. Serafina figured the motorcycle was something left from his past that he wasn't really able to part with.

Serafina sat on the tailgate of Daryl's truck, cleaning her gun as well as she could in the dark. She could not sleep and though Dale had offered her a spot in the RV, she declined so she could stay out in the open air, enjoying the cool breeze. Every now and again she would glance over at Daryl or Rick who was perched on top of the RV on watch duty.

Boredom began to itch at her after a half an hour or so of cleaning her gun and with a huff, she stuffed the gun into the holster that was strapped to her thigh and made her way over to the RV. She would have tried to strike up a conversation with Daryl, but she had a feeling the broad shouldered man has had his fill of her company for the day and she did not want to push any boundaries with the volatile redneck.

"Would you mind if I came up there with you?" She called up to Rick as quietly as she could so she would not wake anyone up.

She saw Rick nod. "Come on up." She climbed the ladder with ease and plopped down next to Rick, her legs dangling over the edge. "Everything all right?" He asked.

"Could be better." There was a joking tone to her voice, but despite this Rick knew it couldn't be more the truth.

"Did you know him well?" He asked and then clarified. "Jenner, I mean."

After pondering over the question for a few short seconds, she shook her head. "No. No, I did not." She admitted. "But— he was important to me." She told him. "I had been alone since the start of this. It is ... hard to be alone." He stayed silent, listening to her. "He let me in when he didn't have to and suddenly I was not alone anymore and neither was he. It — it helps so much just to _have_ someone; someone to share all of your fears and worries with. To not be alone in all of this ... it lessens the burden."

Rick set his hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to worry. You're not going to be alone anymore."

She shook her head. "I — I don't want to impose upon your group. I would understand if you did not want me to continue on with you."

"You're staying." He told her and then quickly added, "... if you want to that is." He could see her hesitation about the subject. "We were all strangers at one point. Give it time and you'll feel right at home here."

"Thank you." She said after being silent for a while. "You are a good man, Rick Grimes."

They didn't speak again that night preferring to sit with one another in a comfortable quiet. It wasn't too long before Serafina bid Rick a good night and crept into the RV nearly having her wits scared out of her by Dale who was seated in the passenger's seat with is feet propped up on the driver's seat. "Finally going to join us?" He had asked.

While her heart tried to slow, she said. "Yes, if there is still room."

Dale smiled. "If you don't mind your back hurting in the morning, you can take the other side of the booth." He told her while motioning to the table where Glenn had taken residence at one side.

She thanked him truly appreciative of how accepting the old man was of her presence with the group. She made her way over to the designated spot, careful not to step on T-Dog who was passed out on the floor between the table and counters.

Sleep came to her a little bit easier than most nights and while her dreams were filled with nothing but a blanket of darkness, she didn't wake with terror in the middle of the night. It was when Glenn started to stir across from her that she woke up, her eyes squinting at the light peeking through the blinds on the window next to her.

"Mornin'." Glenn mumbled while he rubbed his face as though he was trying to wipe the sleep from himself.

"Good morning." She greeted a little more pleasantly than him.

T-Dog and Dale were already up and about, helping Carol with breakfast outside. Serafina was surprised that she had not woken up when they had; she was a light sleeper and any sort of bump in the night usually woke her up.

When she stood up, she glanced back towards the end of the Winnebago and saw Andrea still in the back room on the bed with her back facing the door. Serafina would have thought she was still sleeping, but the light quaking of her shoulders signified that she was indeed awake and trying her best to not make a sound as she cried.

There was a small tug at her heart as she stared, but she was snapped out of her thoughts when Glenn let out a groan as he stretched, wincing when he felt his joints crack. "Man, I hope breakfast is ready." He said. "I'm starving."

Serafina hummed in agreement, her stomach grumbling at the mention of food. She followed Glenn out of the RV, being greeted by a plate being shoved into her hands. Carol smiled at her when she said thank you to the older woman.

Glenn, however, looked on at the plate of food in his own hands with disgust. "Back to beans for breakfast." Regardless, he shoveled the food into his mouth and took a seat in one of the empty chairs. Serafina stayed standing and leaned against the RV as she ate.

"Sleep well?" Rick asked as he passed by her.

"Surprisingly, yes." Rick smiled at that. "We'll be leaving soon." He told her. "You okay with riding in the RV?" He asked.

She nodded. "That's fine." After she finished with breakfast she helped Lori and Carol clean up, not minding so much to help with the household chores. She fell into an easy conversation with the two women who were pleasant to the blonde.

Carol seemed very interested in hearing abut the blonde's life before the outbreak. "What was it like?" She had asked of Serafina's home country.

"Cold." Serafina told her and that earned a smile from both women. "I miss it, though."

Lori, though she tried not to be insensitive, asked. "Did you have family back there?"

There was a slight bob of her head as Serafina dried a dish Carol had handed to her. "Yes. My parents and two brothers." She said. "I lost contact with them a week after this happened."

Lori frowned, now feeling guilty about her question. "I'm sorry." She apologized and Serafina just gave her an easy smile. "It is strange." She noted. "I may never know what happened to them. I do not know if that is for the better or not."

"It must be hard..." Carol started, "... being in a foreign country ... away from everyone you know."

Serafina gave a shrug. "You deal with the hand you are dealt." She would not tell the women just how much she ached to be home with her family. She had not yet come to terms with the possibility that she may never return home again.

The conversation turned to one of the weather and their wish for cooler days which Serafina agreed wholeheartedly with. Then, Lori seemed to have realized something. "Did Andrea ever come out of the RV?" She questioned.

Carol shook her head while Serafina said. "No, she was still asleep when Glenn and I left." She did not say how she saw Andrea crying knowing that it was not her place to say so.

"Poor thing." Carol muttered as she scrubbed at a dish. There was a silent agreement that hung through the air as the women went back to their tasks. It wasn't long before the dishes were washed, dried, and packed away for the long journey to Fort Benning.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! So, here's my latest update. A bit of a filler episode and a little interaction between Rick and Serafina. :) <strong>

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, favorited, and added this story to their story alerts! I'm so glad you guys like this story and I hope I can continue to keep your interest.**

**Keep on reviewing and let me know what you think!**


	6. Into the Woods

Rick and Shane had spent the better part of the morning planning their route on the map. It would take a few days to get there depending on whether or not the group ran into trouble. Their first priority now was to find somewhere to get gas. The nearest town was twenty miles away and they'd be lucky if they could make it there without running out. They set out to the highway which would be the quickest and most direct way to the town.

Serafina buckled down in the RV with the others. Rick was behind them in the station wagon with his family, Carol, and Sophia.

Glenn had found a pack of cards hidden away in one of the drawers and he and T-Dog were teaching Serafina how to play poker. Serafina was convinced the two were somehow cheating as she lost her sixth consecutive hand. "I do not think I like this game." She mumbled as she stared intently at her hand which was not any better than her last six hands. T-Dog was trying his hardest not to smile and Glenn elbowed him. "Are you two cheating?" She asked when they all revealed their hands, Glenn being the one with the winning hand.

"Don't trust them!" Dale called to her warning her about the two men in front of her. "I played cards with them the first night at camp and lost nearly my entire supply of toothpaste." He cast a look in the rearview mirror. "Card sharks, the pair of them."

Serafina sent the two a wary glance and stood up from the table. "My father always told me that Americans were untrustworthy." She joked and sent the pair a wink.

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." T-Dog told her as she sat down in the passenger's seat next to Dale.

"They were trying to hustle me." She said remembering the term from some old American movie she had seen some odd years back.

Dale laughed at the woman though his smile soon turned into a frown when he caught sight of the road in front of them. "Ah, jeez." He mumbled and began to slow to a stop.

"What's the problem, Dale?" Shane called out. He had been sitting in the back of the RV with Andrea. Serafina knew part of the reason he didn't want to sit upfront with the rest of them was because he was not trusting of her and if he had his way, he wouldn't even be traveling in the same vehicle as her. She had heard bits and pieces of Shane and Andrea's conversation and it had sounded as though Shane was teaching Andrea how to clean a gun.

The caravan was put to a stop when Serafina used the CB radio to tell Rick that they were not going to be able to get through the traffic snarl ahead. Daryl had gone in front of them to check out the situation and when he came back Dale asked. "See a way through?"

Daryl glanced over his shoulder at the blockage and then gave a quick nod of his head, motioning for Dale to follow. The Winnebago inched through the maze of cars and Glenn had taken out the map to take a look to see if there were any other ways to go. "Maybe we should just go back." He said. "There's an interstate bypass—"

Dale shook his head and cut the young man off, "We can't spare the fuel."

As they crept though there was a feeling of foreboding that swept through Serafina as she looked out the windows at the wreckage all around them. Most of the cars were abandoned, however, there were a few that they had passed that were still occupied and Serafina did her best to avert her vision.

Something in the engine popped loudly causing Serafina to jump and smoke began to billow out from underneath the hood. The engine let off an earsplitting sputtering sound and Dale gave an annoyed groan while everyone else looked around at each other, knowing that this would be a setback.

They began to file out of the RV and Dale commented. "I said it. Didn't I say it? A thousand times. Dead in the water."

"Problem, Dale?" Shane asked as they gathered around the smoking engine.

Dale huffed. "Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of—" Serafina cleared her throat effectively cutting the older man off and she motioned with a nod of her head to all around them, "Okay, that was dumb."

"If you can't find a radiator hose here..." Shane said.

Daryl, who had already began to go through a nearby car, muttered. "There's a whole bunch of stuff to find here."

"I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start." T-Dog said.

"Maybe some water." Carol spoke up and someone else said, "Food."

Lori was the one to put a damper on the situation. "This is a graveyard." There was a look of turmoil in her eyes and it was understandable why that was. Her comment made everyone second think their plan to scavenge through what remained here. "I don't know how I feel about this."

"Just look around," Shane said. "... gather what you can."

* * *

><p>While Glenn was busy fixing the radiator hose, everyone spread out and began to sift through the cars. Serafina had gravitated towards Lori and Carol, the latter of whom seemed to having the same concerns as Lori as they sorted through a suitcase full of clothes.<p>

"It is unwise to continue to think that way." Serafina told them earning a scathing look from Lori. "You are going to need to do far worse things to survive than pick through abandoned cars."

Lori seemed almost insulted by the blonde's words, but Carol looked as though she was contemplating them and asked. "Have you?" That earned a confused glance from Serafina. "Have you had to do worse?"

Serafina seemed hesitant. "Not all people who survived are like your group." She explained and chose her words carefully. "Humankind is notorious for being unnecessarily cruel. This ... situation has not made them any kinder."

Carol frowned at the vague answer, but she understood what the woman was saying to her. "Kill or be killed..." She mumbled as she tossed a few shirts to the side.

"We have all done things we're not proud of." When Serafina said that Lori's eyes downcast and there was shame bubbling to the surface in them.

It was unfortunate for her that Serafina was as perceptive as she was because the guilt in her eyes did not go unnoticed nor did the way she let her gaze stray over to Shane who was busy unloading a water truck. Serafina decided she would keep that small action tucked away in the back of her mind.

After picking a few shirts out and a pair of pants, Serafina moved on to another car and began to go through it, leaving Carol and Lori to their own devices although she didn't stray too far from the group.

It was only a couple of minutes later that Rick took her by surprise when he came up behind her. "Get down." He ordered in a hushed voice and pulled her to the ground beside him. After she had shimmied under the car he had ducked in after her, his body flush against hers.

She tried to calm her breathing which had become ragged with adrenaline and she glanced over at Rick who was trying to do the same. The sluggish footsteps had begun to pass by them and they seemed to never end. She flinched when a walker stumbled and fell against the car they were under causing it to shake.

Slowly, she slid her knife out of its holder and gripped it tight, preparing herself for the worst, but the footsteps seemed to stop and Serafina's eyes darted around before they landed on Rick and then past him where she saw Sophia start to crawl out from underneath the car she was under.

The small girl let out a whimper when a walker spotted her and hissed at her as it dropped to the floor and tried to reach her underneath the car.

"Oh no." Serafina gasped as it clawed for her and she continued to cry out and back away from it before she emerged from the other side of the car and ran off the highway and into the woods.

Rick was the one to take off after her leaving Serafina behind in a stupor, caught between going after them and her own self preservation. She swore, "ебать."

Her legs took off automatically as she dashed after the sheriff. The trees around her becoming nothing but blurs of green and brown as she pumped her legs as fast as she could. It wasn't too long before she realized her mistake and she cursed again when she discovered that she had lost sight of Rick. She came to a stop, chest heaving as she breathed heavily and she was wondering when she had gotten so out of shape. The woods have never been kind to her and she should have known better than to run blindly into unknown territory.

She wanted to shout for Rick and Sophia, but there was no way of knowing if the undead were wandering around these woods. They were drawn to noise and if she were to call out for Rick and Sophia, she'd be inviting unwanted guests as well. Glancing around once last time, she looked for any indication of either the sheriff or the little girl and she wished she had taken her survival classes a bit more seriously back when she was in basic all those years ago.

It was with reluctance that she returned to the highway and to Carol who had tears streaming down her face. "Where are they? Did Rick find her?"

Serafina frowned. "I lost track of them." She knew it was not something the woman wanted to hear and her face crumbled. "Rick will find her." Serafina tried to reassure, but her words fell on deaf ears as the woman buried her face in her hands, her body shaking as sobs shook her body.

Lori had her arm around the weeping woman, trying to console her. Serafina walked away from the two women with her head down, in the back of her mind, she knew what it was like to lose a child and she would not want to wish that feeling on anyone.

* * *

><p><strong>So, here's a relatively short chapter. I have a lot of this story typed up, but it's a lot of scenes I haven't quite connected yet so chapters may be a bit short until I do.<strong>

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and added this story to their story alerts!**

**If you guys want to check out a Daryl/OC story, go check out my story Protector! I'd love to hear some feedback on that one.**

**Also, if any of you have a Tumblr, add me! My URL is **_bbyjesus_


	7. Animals

When Rick returned a short while later, Sophia was nowhere in sight and he looked just as surprised as the rest did when he came to the realization that she wasn't with the group. Daryl was elected to go back into the woods with Rick due to his skills as a tracker. Shane and Glenn also joined the search, however, they returned a few hours later to move around the cars that blocked their path so when Rick and Daryl came back with Sophia, they could get off the highway right away. Everyone seemed to be optimistic that the two would return with Sophia or at least they were putting on a good front for Carol's sake.

In the meantime, Dale seemed to have given himself the title of Andrea's protector, something the blonde didn't seem to want or appreciate.

"Where's my gun, Dale?" Serafina looked up from her spot on a nearby tailgate as she heard the demanding tone in Andrea's voice.

Dale tried to calm her, "I think it's best if I hold onto it."

"It's my gun, Dale. Give it to me."

Upon hearing the start of an argument, Serafina immediately busied herself with something that was just out of hearing range. For now, she would not voice her opinion on the subject matter of who should carry a gun and who should not. This group had already been well formed by the time she even met them and it was not her place to get in between two of the group members fighting.

However, when she saw Andrea storm away from Dale and Shane, who had joined in the argument, Serafina approached Andrea who was steaming at this point. "I could teach you how to shoot." She told the woman who had a surprised look on her face at the offer. "If you wanted to." She added.

Andrea visibly deflated and she regarded the Russian with a faint smile. "Thank you."

Serafina gave a shrug. "It is not a problem. You will need to learn at some point. When we make it off the highway, we will start your training. Until then, try to be patient." She was not aware of the deputy standing nearby who overheard her conversation with Andrea.

* * *

><p>"You think you're qualified to teach anyone how to shoot?" Shane asked.<p>

Serafina glared at the bulky man. "I am more than qualified enough." She did not allow him the opportunity to retort. "If you want to have a pissing contest you are going to lose. Had the world not gone to shit, I would have more authority over you even being foreign and now with the world the way it is, you still do not have a authority over me, so I would appreciate if you would remove your head from your backside and leave me the hell alone." Serafina turned away from him and stormed off, ignoring his 'Now, wait a minute'.

She was not going to be treated how the other women in this group were. She had faced enough discrimination back home while she was in the Ground Forces and she was not going to be treated like a second rate citizen when there wasn't even a concept of society left.

* * *

><p>Glenn looked startled when she clambered up the Winnebago and sat down next to him none too gracefully. "Shane piss you off?" He asked having seen her little tiff with the deputy.<p>

"Is he always a.. a…" She struggled to think of a word to describe the man and eventually settled on one, "… asshole?"

Glenn laughed at the strange way the insult seemed to roll off her tongue, but he could understand her frustration. The man had shown nothing but contempt for her since the moment they met and there was no doubt that this would not be the last time the two bumped heads.

"He doesn't get any easier to get along with." Glenn told her and she let out a groan and a sarcastic 'great'.

Her annoyance faded rather quickly and she turned to Glenn. "You are not bothered by my presence in the group, are you?"

Glenn looked at her as though she had five heads. "No, why would you think that?"

"I have a feeling that Shane does not like me being here. I wanted to be sure that he is the only one to not want me here."

Glenn gave her a reassuring smile. "Nah, I think he's the only one that has a problem with you, but don't take it so personally."

"It is hard not to." She mumbled, her eyes settled on glaring at the ground below them.

"So, how long were you in the Army for?" Glenn asked and effectively changed the subject.

"Ground Forces," She corrected, but answered, "I had joined Basic when I was sixteen. It was not until I was eighteen that I was deployed, so it has been a little over thirteen years since I signed my life away."

Glenn laughed and questioned, "So, you're twenty-nine?"

Serafina nodded. "I believe so. My birthday is in June and it is probably July now."

"Happy belated Birthday, then." Glenn congratulated and looked up with a thoughtful expression. "My birthday is coming up, then. It's in August." He looked over at Andrea who was a ways from them. "Andrea had been keeping track of the days, but after her sister, Amy, died, she stopped."

Serafina gave him a thoughtful glance. "That is smart." She noted. "Keeping track of the days would help to know what weather we may be expecting, but I suppose we will just have to roll with the punches."

Glenn sighed. "I don't think anyone was expecting this to be as large scaled as it was."

Serafina for the first time since they left the CDC felt guilt swirl in her belly and she looked down, muttering. "Yes, how could anyone have predicted this would happen…"

_This is what humanity is capable of._

* * *

><p>The thought of trekking through the woods immediately set Serafina into a foul mood and she had no desire to do so. She was not much of a wilderness person and even as she ventured from New York to Georgia, she never strayed into the woods, always keeping to the roads no matter how much more dangerous it might have been.<p>

"You sure you wanna hang back?" Rick asked her as the group readied to head out.

Serafina nodded. "Do not worry. I will stay and make sure these two are not harmed." Her eyes first glanced at Dale who was in his usual spot on top of the RV and then to T-Dog who looked worse for wear after having sliced his arm open when the herd came through.

It was not that she thought the two men could not protect themselves, but with T-Dog having injured himself, she did not think it would be wise to leave Dale by himself to protect two people.

Rick understood her concerns, though he knew it was not the sole reason. "All right. Stay safe."

"You too." Serafina said.

* * *

><p>It was a rather dull afternoon and had this been pre-Apocalypse, Serafina would have been itching with boredom but now it seemed to be a reprieve and even welcomed. T-Dog was in the RV, bundled up in blankets despite the immense heat of the Summer day. Serafina continued to check on him despite his protests and insistence that he was fine. She kept cleaning and redressing the cut on his arm, but the infection had already taken place most likely due to the fact he cut himself on a rusty piece of metal.<p>

"We need antibiotic for you." She said as she wrapped bandages around his arm. "The infection could kill you."

T-Dog groaned. "That's good news."

Serafina's mouth tightened. "I do not want to sugarcoat it." She told him. "This is not a mere paper cut."

"I know." He wheezed. "Trust me, I know."

With a frown, she taped up the bandages and gave him a pat on his uninjured arm. "Try to rest. I am going to see if I can find some antibiotics."

"Don't have to tell me twice." He grumbled and laid back wincing as the movement irritated his arm.

When she exited the RV she called put to Dale who had not moved from his spot on top of the Winnebago since the group went off into the woods. "I am going to see if I can find some medicine for him. He is getting worse, please keep an ear out."

Dale nodded and told her to be careful as she ventured to the cars that they had not yet searched, first looking in glove compartments and purses first. It was nearly a half an hour of searching before she happened upon some extra strength Tylenol. She shook the bottle, hearing the pleasing sound of pills rattling around in it.

Serafina hurried back to the RV and shook T-Dog from his fever induced sleep. "Come on." She whispered. "I found Tylenol. It will not do much in terms of the infection, but it will help make sure that the fever does not kill you."

T-Dog let out an airy laugh and grabbed the pills and bottle of water she had gotten for him. "Yeah, I'd like that." He downed the pills with no problem." Thanks." He said and Serafina just gave him a nod.

"Get some sleep." She told him.

* * *

><p>Dale gave the woman a curious glance as she joined him on top of the RV, but said nothing as she sat down in the chair beside where he was standing. The binoculars were glued to his hands as he looked out in all directions. The herd that roamed through here had set everyone on edge and it was unsettling to know that such a large amount of the walking dead would congregate and act as though they were a singular unit.<p>

It is what animals do in the wild.

"When everything we have is gone and we are left with nothing, what will become of us?" She asked.

Dale looked as though he was contemplating her words as though she had hid a meaning behind them. "I'm not sure what you mean." He told her.

She inhaled as she tried to sort out her thoughts. "I suppose it does not matter." She mumbled.

Dale mustered a smile for her. "Try not to be so grim. It doesn't suit you."

Serafina gave him an attempted smile of her own, but she could not help the way her heart sank bit by bit into the mass of guilt swirling around in her. However, these thoughts seemed to leave her when she heard something in the distance.

Dale noticed how her body grew rigid and she stared in the direction where she thought the noise came from. "What is it?" He asked.

"I could have sworn I heard a gunshot."


	8. Alexander

When the news came that little Carl had been shot, Serafina was quick to jump at the chance to help out with whatever she could with what little medical training she received from the Ground Forces.

She had gone to the farm with Glenn and T-Dog and while she was anxious to help Carl with whatever it is she could, her first priority was to stitch T-Dog's arm up. Daryl had given him antibiotics to take care of the infection, but those wouldn't do any good if the cut on his arm stayed open.

Maggie had introduced her to Patricia who agreed to lend her some medical supplies. "You're sure you don't want me to do it?" Patricia had asked and Serafina politely declined while T-Dog told the woman, "Ain't nothin' against you, ma'am, but I'd prefer if she did it."

Patricia gave the man a smile, assuring him that she was not offended and Serafina prepared the wound so she could stitch it up. "This will hurt." She told him and T-Dog laughed at her, coming to realize that it was hard for this woman to be anything, but straightforward and blunt.

It didn't take long for the wound to be closed up and T-Dog let out a sigh of relief when Serafina cut the extra string of the stitches. As she bandaged him up, she gave him clear instructions before sending him off to bed, knowing that this entire endeavor had taken a lot out of him.

After putting all of the medical supplies away, she peeked her head into the room where Carl and his parents were, seeing the couple broken up over the ordeal with their son. "Is there anything I can do?" She asked the older gentlemen who was busily prepping his equipment for surgery.

He offered the woman a kind smile. "I'm afraid there's not much else to be done."

Serafina nodded and her eyes strayed from Carl to his parents. "I am here if you need me." She told them. Lori gave a nod of her head as her hand wiped stray tears that fell from her eyes and Rick looked at the woman with gratitude. "Thank you." He said.

There was nothing more that could be done other than hope that time was on their side for once.

* * *

><p>They sat next to each other on the porch steps of the farmhouse. Carl was away from danger now, thanks to Hershel, and all he needed was to rest up in the meantime. The sun had nearly rose and there was light peeking out from behind the trees.<p>

Serafina spared Rick a glance from the corner of her eye, taking in the way the undersides of his eyes had darkened and how his overall appearance looked disheveled. This whole ordeal had not been easy on him or Lori who refused to leave Carl's side.

"I can't believe we almost lost him." Rick finally said and there were tears of relief that remained unshed in his eyes.

Serafina laid a hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You did not though and that is a good thing."

"I've never felt more helpless in my life." He admitted. "I don't know what I would've done."

Serafina sighed. "Do not think such things. All is well."

Rick looked at her at last and said. "You're always so calm in these situations." He recalled how tense everyone had been at the CDC when they were sure it was the end for them and how Serafina did not let her anger get the best of her like Shane and Daryl did. "Is it a Russian thing?" He joked.

A snort erupted from Serafina. "I was not always this way." She told him and he looked surprised. "I used to have quite the temper. I hated authority. The military helped me sort out the authority problem."

"And the temper?"

In a complete change of subject or at least Rick thought so, she said. "I was married once."

This surprised him. "What happened?" Rick asked.

"He left me." She said and Rick suddenly felt sorry for her. "I had gotten pregnant about a year and a half into our marriage. He was so happy — we both were. He always had wanted to be a father." There was a wistful look on her face as she remembered how excited her husband and her had been when they found out the news. "I was seven months when I lost him." She murmured. "I was angry. I was so angry. Angry at everyone who tried to tell me it would be okay. Angry at the doctors who told me my chance of carrying a child to full term was zero to none. Angry at my body for betraying me in such a way. My husband could not bear the pain and he became withdrawn. It tore us apart." She was silent for a moment before he heard her suck in a breath. "I decided it was not worth it to be angry anymore. It wouldn't fix anything."

They sat for a while neither speaking and Serafina was sure she had made a mistake by telling him all of this and then Rick asked. "What did you name him?" Serafina gave him a look of surprise and in turn he looked at her, confused. "What is it?" He questioned when she didn't say anything and as he saw the tears fill her eyes he began to think that bringing up this subject was a bad idea.

"You are the first person to ask me that…" She mumbled, her voice shaking. "It is usually, 'Well, you can just try again' or 'Why do you not just adopt?'." She was quiet again. "Alexander. I named him Alexander." Her words cracked in her throat and she felt guilty for crying, especially after what had happened to his son. She felt she should not be the one crying. "I am sorry." She apologized. "It is very selfish of me to be here crying when it is your son that was injured."

Rick stared hard at the woman and for the first time he really took in her appearance from the slight way her nose turned up to the way her upper lip was thicker than her bottom. He had not considered this woman to be young before. Her face usually was hard and her jaw usually set giving the appearance of an older woman, but now she looked her age; a woman, not yet thirty, who had gone through an immense amount of loss and suffering within her life, more than he could probably even imagine.

His arm wound around her and he pulled her to him in a comforting manner. "Pain is pain." He told her.

It was a long while later that Serafina stood up, letting Rick's arm drop from her shoulder . "Thank you." She said earnestly. "You should go be with your wife and son, now."

Rick gave her a smile and a light pat on the back before turning and returning to the farmhouse and to his wife and child.

* * *

><p><strong>Here's a bit of a short chapter for you guys since I haven't updated in a while. We start to get a look into Serafina's past and things will start to liven up within the next few chapters :)<strong>

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, favorited, and added this story to their story alerts, I really appreciate it!**


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